Sunday, February 5, 2012

Author Ambush with Elisabeth Staab

Today we have up-and-coming author Elisabeth Staab taking over the reins at Book Monster. 

Paranormal Build-A-Boyfriend Workshop

by Elisabeth Staab

Hi, folks! Welcome to today’s Paranormal Build-A-Boyfriend workshop. You know, the fun thing about writing paranormal romance in general and vampires in particular, is that you are only limited by your imagination. Even in the vampire genre these days vampires don’t come from a one-size fits all cookie-cutter mold anymore. You can have dead ones, live ones, warm ones, hot ones, retractable fangs or not, they can eat food or not, good or evil, or somewhere in-between. So long, in the romance genre at least, as they are always sexy.

If the ending is happy, nothing else matters.

In my debut novel King of Darkness, for example, my vampires are a separate supernatural race that lives alongside humans in the suburbs outside of Washington DC. They can eat food as well as reproduce, and my vampire king is a little bit tortured because I thought it’d be a nice change of pace to have a vampire king with some crisis that kept him from being the standard cookie-cutter alpha. Truthfully, I’ve always had a thing for the tortured bad boy.

So what about you? If you could build your perfect paranormal hero boyfriend, what would he be like?

 Let’s find out: Today we’re going to build a fictional paranormal boyfriend to your own perfect specifications. Are you ready? Okay. *rubs hands together* Let’s get started.

Choose your body type:
     ·       Lean
·       Stacked
·       Really stacked
·       OMFG

·       Average
·       Tall
·       Must wear platforms
·       Must carry stepladder

·       Buzzed
·       Tousled
·       Shoulder length
·       Mohawk
·       Scales

Any Add-on Parts?
·       Wings
·       Horns
·       Scales
·       Tail
·       Claws
·       Fangs

Favorite beverage:
·       Wine
·       Beer
·       Blood
·       Mountain Dew
·       Freshly shed virgin tears

What’s your paranormal build-a-boyfriend’s
 living/breathing status?
    ·       Supernaturally long life
·       Undead
·       Magically immortal

Of course he can make love all night long. What
 are his other super powers:
     ·       Read minds
·       Time travel
·       Telekinesis
·       Talks to the dead
·       Makes toast without appliances
·       Your parents love him

Choose a classic hero archetype for your new
  ·       The Chief
·       The Bad Boy
·       The Best Friend
·       The Charmer
·       The Lost Soul
·       The Professor
·       The Swashbuckler
·       The Warrior
(New offer! During this workshop only, combine 2 or more archetypes for only an additional $6.99 + processing!)

Accessorize your new paranormal boyfriend:
·       Piercings—note that anything above the waist is included in your workshop fee. Piercings below the waist, you naughty thing, are not only an additional fee but contingent on whether or not you’ve built the sort of her that will sit still for such a thing (see “Dark Hero Quotient,” below).  “Fantasy part piercings” (tail, hoof, horn, etc) depend on piercer availability.
·       Arm bands
·       Tattoos (See piercing rules, above. No shifter tattoos during a full moon.)
·       Dragon perched on shoulder

·       Military fatigues
·       Jeans/T-shirts
·       Loincloth

Boxers/Briefs/Commando/Jock strap/lacy thong
 (circle one)

     ·       Tortured past
·       Hates humans
·       Rejected by his own kind
·       Chosen as the unwilling savior of an entire planet
·       Got picked on in school

Dark Hero Quotient:
You may choose a Dark Hero Quotient of anywhere from 0 – 40%. For optimal results we recommend a dark hero quotient of 15-30%. We regretfully but firmly state that under absolutely no circumstances will a dark hero quotient of greater than 40% be considered, not since the time a participant’s hero flew out the window with her clutched in his talons.
All done? Great! Your sexy paranormal hero is ready to go. We hope you’ve enjoyed this build-a-hero workshop. Please wait until you arrive home before unwrapping your new fictional boyfriend. Failure to adhere to this rule has resulted in numerous complaints in the past.

 Scorned by the vampire community for her lack of power, Isabel Anthony lives a carefree existence masquerading as human--although drifting through the debauched human nightlife, she prefers the patrons' blood to other indulgences. But when she meets the sexy, arrogant king of the vampires, this party-girl's life turns dark and dangerous.
Dead-set on finding the prophesied mate who will unlock his fiery powers, Thad Morgan must find his queen before their race is destroyed. Their enemies are gaining ground, and Thad needs his powers to unite his subjects. But when his search leads him to the defiant Isabel, he wonders if fate had gotten it seriously wrong...

King of Darkness is available NOW in ebook and in paperback on 2/7 :  Amazon : Barnes and Noble : IndieBound
King of Darkness is available NOW in ebook and in paperback on 2/7 :  Amazon : Barnes and Noble : IndieBound

Elisabeth Staab lives in Northern Virginia with her hero and soul mate. She has been a telemarketer, a web page editor, a software developer, a reader for the blind, a technical trainer, a coffee shop barista, a tutor, a homemaker, a government project manager, a graphic designer, and a professional ebayer. Finally, she's landed on being a writer - which is what her high school guidance counselor originally suggested anyway.

Elisabeth believes that all kinds of safe, sane, and consensual love should be celebrated--but she loves the fantasy-filled realm of paranormal romance the best. Find out more at

Enjoy the post!


sienny said...

well.. i'll go with lean-a little stacked wouldn't hurt, tall, tousled, claws, wine, supernaturally long life or magically immortal, anything but loincloth, and any choice from the other categories. since i'm not so sure with the dark heroes quotient, i'll go with the average 20% :)

deanna said...

My selection: Lean, Tall, Tousled Hair, Fangs, Blood Drinker, Supernaturally long life, Reads Minds, Lost Soul/Badboy, Tatoos, Nipple Piercing (a la Zsadist), Jeans/Tshirt, Commando and Tortured Past. Dark hero quotient is 35%.

dpostell2 at gmail(dot)com

Kassandra said...

Hrmm, stacked, tall, shoulder length hair, fangs, wine/blood, supernaturally long life, reads minds, The Lost Soul, tattoos, jeans and t-shirts,commando and tortured past. Dark hero quotient of 30% pretty please ;)

Had a blast with this!

Laurie said...

Ok, really stacked, wear platforms, tousled hair, wings, immortal, bad boy/warrior, peircings/tattoos, fatigues, commando, tortured past, dark hero 25%. I'll be reading this!! lfacchini (at) tampabay (dot) rr (dot) com

Elisabeth Staab said...

LOVING these answers guys, keep 'em coming!

Victoria said...

Here he is:

Tortured past, Boxers, Jeans/T-shirts, Tattoos, The Warrior, Read minds, Magically immortal, Wine, Fangs, Tousled, Tall, OMFG and 25% dark hero.

Thank you for the fun build :).


Evan Blanc said...

How fun!! Ok here goes mine:

Must Carry Stepladder
Shoulder Length
Wing & Fangs
Supernaturally Long-Life
Time Travel
The Warrior
Tortured Past

Good god, if only it worked this way...
Really fun!!

Melanie said...

Oh here he comes........OMFG and yes you need a stepladder :0) to grab hold of his shoulder length hair to lick those fangs and let him taste the blood. He is magically immortal and likes to time travel as he is a warrior with lots of tattoos even though he is usually in his jeans and t-shirt..............he hates humans!! Dark hero 35%

Anonymous said...

My man is really stacked stepladder tall buzzed hair wings that fold into his back and lickanle fangs. Drinks beer and blood he is magically immortal can travel though time is a warrior with tattooed and eyebrow nipple piercings he is most at home in jeans and tees black breifs he has a tortured past that only you can get over25% dark hero

Anonymous said...

Hi Elizabeth, heard so many good thins about you and excited to start your book. My favourite would be bad boy orthe charmer, lean and stacked, average tall, shoulder -length haircut, claws add-on parts, wine as favourite beverage, magically immortal, and telekinesis. these characteristics would be my super perfect boyfriend. Fingers cross and I can meet him:),

donnas said...

Fun. Totally going with:

· Stacked
· Tall
· Tousled
· Wings
· Wine
· Supernaturally long life
· Time travel
· Your parents love him
· The Chief
· Tortured past

bacchus76 at myself dot com

Linda said...

This is so funny! I love the section "Any add on parts?" & the offer at the end is a scream!

Trish said...



SdyLion said...

Love the workshp and I believe I answered all the questions with a boy-toy who was customized with options that you did not offer (long hair, 45% dark hero quotient, trimed facial hair) along with fangs, piercing, tattoos, and the freedom to wear "nothing" under his leather pants- I'll pay extra, please! sdylion(at)gmail(dot)com

Sharon said...

I am such a shifter lover! He must growl, loudly...window shaking...oh, dear! ;) sstogner1 at gmail dot com